Sunday, December 26, 2010

Belated santa confessions + new year reflections

Hi all.
Thanks for reading this .
I know this is kinda late
& most likely the most lengthy in the year
I think I wasn't really a good girl this year
As compared to last year :)
2010 was a year in which I expected dramatic changes .
which effing came true . Fml
Its a very bad year for me .
Hate it max.
Its as thou I tio some black magic or something .
Whatever I do, all wrong.
A change in environment is a big thing to me.
It wasn't up to expectations and in fact 100% worst .
I was really disappointed with myself and the things going around me.
I got into a course in nyp .
And I hope its not the worst choice .
School taught me to be selfish, and be more self conscious and be bitchy .
Oh also .
You can be a hypocrite .
You don't have to be nice and kind.
No one will appreciate .
I believe my current clique would agree as well.
Because people like some gay bastard will ruin your reputation/ bitch about you cause they 看你不顺眼
Including yur beloveeeed lecturers .
Oh well. This is life.
culture shock indeed.
Really excited about next year where get to change classes and etc.
I swear I will pray dam hard to have classmates like jocelyn's
They are very nice people .

I made myself living in poverty now by overspending .
I feel that I've changed a lot in this 12 months.
I've changed to a more mean and cold blooded person.
More introvert and a less cheerful person.
Idk why.
I guess its the environment .

I've made a lot of 'friends',
not so actually.
Idk what should I call them
But they did taught me a lot in life .
Both good and bad.

Too many happenings this year .
1. I made too many wrong decisions .
I think its these decisions that I've made that make me what am I now. Somewhere more to the failure side.
Which I totally regret now ,
I shouldn't have done it .

2. I lost my self .
I do note that I'm still in the growing up process .
And that I will experience a lot a lot .
I lost my directions
And what I really want to achieve at the end of the day.
I am no longer the angie .

3. My birthday.
This is awesome great shit bday year .
Get the sarcasm?
I officially dislike bdays.
Mine .
total turnoff to get scolded on my bday
And allow some asshole to waste my time
Only diyan + alex made the effort to somehow celebrate with me.
I really appreciate it a lot .
Diyan especially.

I wish I could have 100 friends celebrating for me too.
I can just make it happen by having a bday party.
but over the years,
I realise people come for my parties not because they want to celebrate with me genuinely .
Its just for the face + sake of it .
Hence I stop doing parties for MYSELF .
Because I felt like a loser .

4. I made someone important leave me.
I made this person leave me at the most important period of mylife .
Because I felt that he couldn't help me with anything
+ he is not willing to .
But I think he deserve it too.

In 2010,
I see the real side of people .
How they treat me and stuff .
they more unhappy I am .
The happier they get .
Yes , I will curse them
Thanks everyone !

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